Yesterday was not my best day as a wife. Ironic, with Valentine's Day coming up, huh?
Without giving all the details, I brought unnecessary stress to my husband because I:
-kept trying to change a decision we'd already agreed to
-interrupted his work several times in the last couple of days to run stuff past him after we'd already agreed to make the decision on Friday
-didn't truly show him respect for his wisdom and patience
Sometimes, because my husband can be an easy going guy, I forget to understand his feelings about when I "change the rules on the fly." It cuts at whether he feels respected as a husband and leader. He is a very wise guy in down to earth, street smart sort of way. I often look to his discernment for wisdom. But he processes things at a slower, more methodical speed than I do. I tend to be more intuitive, creative under pressure, and like the adrenaline of making something work under pressure. We are normally good for each other, but yesterday was a little less than good.
Yesterday, I had to realize that I was the cause of tension and confusion. I did not uplift him or respect him and I have tears in my eyes right now as I write this. He and I are fine...we had a good talk last night and developed a couple of strategies to help us avoid this unnecessary pressure in the future. One idea was that I would write down ideas/pros/cons as they came to me and we'd have a solid collection of thoughts to discuss when the time came to make the actual decision. This keeps from a scattered chaos of discussions at times when he needs to focus on other things. Another is to go back to a plan of him calling me during the day when he has a free moment (rather than me initiating so many calls--I have more flexibility in my days than he does.) He really likes to be able to be focused on our conversations and not distracted, so this plan is better for us.
I'm thankful that we are connected, speaking, and that even with the stress of yesterday, it didn't become a hurtful argument or "fight." It was a healthy discussion between two people who really love each other and need each other--God using each of our gifts and personalities to refine the other. So while yesterday wasn't my best day as a wife, by God's grace it was a good day for our marriage.
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Without giving all the details, I brought unnecessary stress to my husband because I:
-kept trying to change a decision we'd already agreed to
-interrupted his work several times in the last couple of days to run stuff past him after we'd already agreed to make the decision on Friday
-didn't truly show him respect for his wisdom and patience
Sometimes, because my husband can be an easy going guy, I forget to understand his feelings about when I "change the rules on the fly." It cuts at whether he feels respected as a husband and leader. He is a very wise guy in down to earth, street smart sort of way. I often look to his discernment for wisdom. But he processes things at a slower, more methodical speed than I do. I tend to be more intuitive, creative under pressure, and like the adrenaline of making something work under pressure. We are normally good for each other, but yesterday was a little less than good.
Yesterday, I had to realize that I was the cause of tension and confusion. I did not uplift him or respect him and I have tears in my eyes right now as I write this. He and I are fine...we had a good talk last night and developed a couple of strategies to help us avoid this unnecessary pressure in the future. One idea was that I would write down ideas/pros/cons as they came to me and we'd have a solid collection of thoughts to discuss when the time came to make the actual decision. This keeps from a scattered chaos of discussions at times when he needs to focus on other things. Another is to go back to a plan of him calling me during the day when he has a free moment (rather than me initiating so many calls--I have more flexibility in my days than he does.) He really likes to be able to be focused on our conversations and not distracted, so this plan is better for us.
I'm thankful that we are connected, speaking, and that even with the stress of yesterday, it didn't become a hurtful argument or "fight." It was a healthy discussion between two people who really love each other and need each other--God using each of our gifts and personalities to refine the other. So while yesterday wasn't my best day as a wife, by God's grace it was a good day for our marriage.
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Beth,
Thank you so much for sharing this so transparently. It is messages like this that we all need to hear to see God's kindness at work. One of the things that I have been working on is the whole being still and knowing thing. It is difficult to quiet my life enough to hear God's heart beat. I really want to though.
I count it a privilege to have you and Keith as friends in my life and I praise God that He is conforming you both into HIS image. And that's a beautiful thing!
Soli Deo Gloria...to God alone be the glory!
Blessings,
Isaac Fineman
Bridge Media Group, LLC