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Summer Sabbatical

Thank you for reading my series through Esther. This blog will take a sabbatical the next few weeks this summer while I prayerfully consider its future. I welcome your input. Thanks for reading!

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Esther 10: A Fitting Epitath

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Esther 10 is a very short chapter.

Only three verses.

But, wow, what a punch, especially in verse 3, which could be an epitaph for Mordecai. Let's investigate:

The Jew: Mordecai was strongly connected to his heritage, and assumably, God

Next to King Ahasuerus: in a foreign land he rose to a position of great power

Great among the Jews: yet he was respected among his own people, probably due to not compromising

Accepted by the multitude: Mordecai was well liked by a large group of people. This doesn't always happen of course, but he was apparently winsome (remember that Esther was, too, so perhaps learned this from him) and evidently had great people skills. This allowed him to have a positive influence on a wide variety of people.

Seeking the good of his people: Mordecai's motive was not his own advancement, yet in seeking the good of his people (which presumably was the Jews first, and then perhaps other) he rose in stature. God elevated him...he did not seek it himself.

Speaking peace to all his seed: Mordecai left a legacy of peace with God and others, speaking it, meaning actively sharing it.

What is distinctly missing from this chapter?

You don't see any reference to Esther. It actually appears that the main character of this book was actually Mordecai! Isn't it ironic, and somehow fitting, that Esther, for who the book is named, actually fades into the background, just like Mordecai was in the background in the beginning?

Sometimes, you will be in the spotlight. Sometimes, you will be in the background. You may be more comfortable in one place than the other, but no matter how God directs you, lean into Him and do it well. You may not like being in the spotlight, but may need to take a leadership role from time to time. He will equip you. You may not like fading into the background, but God may want you to have a season behind the scenes. (As I write this, that is happening to me in a particular way.) Lean into it and trust Him for your identity and peace.

Will you leave a legacy like Esther and Mordecai?

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Esther 9: On the Very Same Day, God Had Other Plans

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Now in the twelfth month, which is the month of Adar, on the thirteenth day of the same, when the king's command and edict were about to be carried out, on the very day when the enemies of the Jews hoped to gain the mastery over them, the reverse occurred; the Jews gained master over those who hated them. Esther 9:1

It was fully expected that the Jews would be destroyed. Evil Haman had set in motion a plan of destruction. But in a twist of irony, and because of the character of Mordecai and obedience of Esther, God overrode evil and instead protected His people, making it effective the very same day they expected to be attacked. So instead of a terrible day, it was a day of rejoicing.

Humans like to have an idea of what is coming. We like to have a sense of control over ourselves and our destiny. As I write this, Americans are coming up to Independence Day. It's a day we take pride in our freedom. But I struggle with whether it is biblical to be independent. There doesn't seem to be scriptural basis for living life "my way" or without depending on others in a healthy, community type way. In our struggle for independence we want control, but no one has full control over their lives.

Every one of us could relate an instance in our life when what we thought was coming didn't, or what we didn't see coming did. Sometimes, these are wonderful surprises, like a couple struggling with infertility finding out they are expecting. Or a surprise visit home from a soldier. Or a great job offer that wasn't even on the radar a few months before.

Along with that come the sad things, like my dad passing away in his sleep while my son slept with him camping. Or the tragic parasailing accident that just this week took a former co-workers young son-in-law all too soon from his wife of two years. Or being told, "I'm sorry, but we are having to let you go from this job," or the "I don't love you anymore" statements that rock you to the core.

Why, in this case, did God decide to do a miracle, when it appears He doesn't do the same thing in other cases? I really don't know. All I can say is that we live in an unbalanced, evil world, that also is full of grace, love and truth if you look for it. I don't think God's first choice would be that Adam and Eve would reject His command. I also don't think He wanted to force them to obey. We blame God when things go wrong, but perhaps in some cases, He didn't cause it...it was a result of a culmination of sinful choices in our world. Yet, He does have the power to step in, and He did in the story of Esther.

I think God actually steps in more often than we give Him credit for...it just may not be in the way we want or expect. Like the times that true friendship shines and bonds because of intervention in a time of crises. Or discovering a brand new place to work and serve that would never have been considered if not for the current layoff. Or the new love found after the first spouse has gone home to heaven. So many people can give testimony of new strength, new love, new discoveries when they expected only negative things to happen.

So, today, open your eyes in that situation that seems hopeless. Or maybe not hopeless, but frustrating. There just may be a quieter way the God is intervening, to support, and rescue you in ways you may not expect.

___

How has God intervened in your life in an unexpected way?

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Esther 8: The Importance of Administration

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In chapter 8, some excitement occurs in the story of Esther. It is at this point that the king makes a decision to "approve" Esther's request that her people, the Jews, be saved from destruction. Isn't that great?

Yes, but...

What if the king's scribes didn't respond quickly to write the edict? (v. 9)

What if people didn't know all the individual languages, to be able to write in that language, for all the various provinces? (v. 9)

What if the "sealing" of the edict hadn't happened properly, to affirm the authority of the command? (v. 10)

What if the person who "wrote in the name of the king" didn't accurately portray what the king wanted? (v. 10)

What if the mounted couriers didn't speed to deliver the news? (They didn't have email or Facebook back then.) (vv. 10, 14)

For that matter, what if those who took care of the horses did a sloppy job, resulting in sluggish, overweight horses that couldn't gallop? (It is noted that these horses were of prime pedigree.) (v. 10)

What if a specific date (the thirteenth day of the twelfth month) hadn't been specifically chosen? (v. 12)

What if copies weren't quickly made (they didn't have copiers) so all provinces could get the same message? (v. 13)

The Jews would have died.

Do you see how important good administration, training, and teamwork is?

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Esther 7: Stepping Up to Do the Hard Thing

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In Esther 7, Queen Esther finally has to "step up to the plate" and state that Haman was the man behind the evil plot against the Jews. When we read this book, we know the ending, so we may fail to remember her precarious position. Just because the king has looked in favor on her doesn't mean he will continue to do so. He could just as easily turn on her once she accuses a man who is in his inner circle. But, in obedience to a higher calling, she states the truth.

We may not be often called upon to state the direct truth about a situation in front of the person that it could affect (except, I suppose, if we are called to the witness stand in a court of law.) Even so, we may have to face the truth of a situation and for the good of all involved, deal with it appropriately.

For example. Let's say that you hang around with several friends and one routinely likes to stray into gossip about other people. You know it is bringing the relationships down, but no one is comfortable lovingly confronting this friend. One of you--maybe you--will have to be brave enough to "speak the truth in love" if his/her behavior causes division, distrust, or negativity. When you have to, remember the example of Esther:

Prayer. She spent time in prayer and preparing--"pray-paring" for this task.
Timing. She did not dump this info on the king right away. She waiting for him to be appropriately attentive.
Directness. Although she was subtle during the initial conversations, when it came time to speak the truth, she was direct about what was happening, and to the point when answering his question about who was the perpetrator.
Stability. Even when the king stormed out and Haman begged for mercy, there is no indication that Esther softened in fear. She held her ground, not giving in to Haman's pleas. She kept the higher purpose in mind.

What happens next is not pleasant. Haman is hanged on his own gallows. I trust your situations will never have to come to that! But Esther's example is that the relationship was severed, because it was not a good relationship. Period. In rare cases, you may have to accept a severed relationship if it is better to not associate with those who tear down your walk with God. Hopefullly, though, in most cases, your kind but direct approach when you sincerely feel God is calling you to it, will lead to a deeper, and healthier bond.

Note and warning: this post is not to encourage you to criticize and judge all your friends for every mistake they make, or to elevate yourself above them. I am suggesting instead that if a pattern of poor behavior is evident, and has a negative affect on you or others, you may in great humility have to handle the situation with a direct, in person, conversation. This should always be done in love and with a listening ear and humble heart.

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Esther 6: Complete Self Centeredness

Haman is quite a character, isn't he? In Esther 6, the king re-discovers the act of kindness Mordecai had shown some time before by informing authorities of a plot to kill the king. Xerxes decides to honor Mordecai, and asks Haman, "What should I do for someone I want to honor?"

Immediately, Haman figures, "It must be me!" and lays out an elaborate plan to reward someone. Xerxes unknowingly turns the tables when he commands him to "Go do that for Mordecai."

Yikes!

I bet many of us are quick to judge Haman. After all, the guy was completely self-absorbed, evil and, well, a real jerk! But...

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Uh oh. Here it comes.

I'm self-absorbed too.
I want things to go my way.
I'm tempted to manipulate situations to my advantage.
I sometimes have a hard time rejoicing with/for those who have been given a particular blessing.

How about you?

Indeed, Haman takes it to an extreme and I dare say that my readers are not plotting to destroy a whole group of people.

But are you likely to destroy someone with catty words?
Do you look down on a group because they are not like you?
Does it overly concern you to look right, get in with the good crowd, and seek honor and a good image for yourself and your family?
Ladies, would you never leave your house without makeup on?

Image. Pride. Arrogance. Evil. Destruction.

The are intricately connected and very powerful.

Guard against them, even in "small" forms!

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Esther 5: Three Marriage Lessons Wives can Glean from Esther, by Julie Arduini

This week we are enjoying a guest post by Julie Arduini. I realize that not all our readers are married, but I encourage everyone to read this anyway to glean wisdom in general. Thank you Julie for your post!

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There are times God is speaking to me and I'm just not getting what He's saying. I have always prayed that when this happens He do whatever He has to do to get my attention. When I discover that I keep running into the same topic, song, sermon or Bible verse, I know that is His cue for me to listen up.

Lately the cue has been the book of Esther. I listen to a sermon and it's about her. I'm reading non fiction books and there she is again. Browsing blogs and yep, Esther. I started taking notes and found a common theme to her story.

Esther has great tips for contemporary wives to apply in their lives.

1. Be proactive, not reactive. Esther learned the Jewish people, her own family, were in grave danger of being obliterated and her husband was the one who signed the edict to make it so. I would think that if anyone had the justification to freak out, Esther did. I've overreacted over much less. One of our first fights was when I went out for ice cream but took a side trip to the mall without calling to let him know. This was before cell phones so he ha no idea where I was and he panicked. I returned safely to meet his disappointed gaze and I gave an Oscar winning performance. Esther is a good example of what to do in marriage. She went to prayer and declared a fast before approaching her husband. It's a good lesson I wish I modeled.

2. Soak it in. Before King Xerxes chose Esther as his bride there was a competition of sorts to see who would be his new wife. The process was lengthy and involved a series of beauty treatments. I thought it was something like a spa day where Esther and the candidates came out smelling pretty but it was more than that. There were certain fragrances that had special meanings that were symbolic in nature. They weren't dabbed on her but rubbed in until they became part of her skin. This spoke to me. It's so easy for me to spend a little time with God and think it's enough. As wives we were created to dispense wisdom to our husbands. Often we can see things long term and/or from a perspective our husband otherwise would not see. I need to allow time with Him, soaking in His presence and letting everything about Jesus become a part of me take place or anything I share with my husband isn't going to have a lot of substance to it. I want to have a strong fragrance of the Lord in everything I do, not a watered down perfume I just dab on and hope the anointing stays.

3. The best way to your husband's heart is through his stomach. Esther invited her husband and the evil Haman for a banquet not once, but twice. She made sure Xerxes had a full meal and was satisfied before talking to him. Queen Esther had Xerxes' full attention. By praying, fasting and serving her man two amazing meals, Esther had favor. She was able to tell her husband everything Haman had done and planned to do. She took careful consideration in preparing and her work paid off. When my husband is under a lot of stress I make a point to include a favorite meal that week. He loves salad for lunch and I'll get up early to prepare one just so he knows I'm thinking of him. Food definitely isn't the only answer but I think going that extra mile is worth the effort. It definitely paid off for Esther.

Julie Arduini is a writer and speaker residing in NE Ohio with her husband and children. She loves to encourage audiences to find freedom through surrender and I understand it has to start with her. Please join her as she surrenders the good, the bad, and —maybe one day—the chocolate.

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Esther 4: The Queen Was Stunned

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When we read chapter four, we tend to focus on the second half of the chapter, where Esther makes a decision to go to the king despite the real risk that she could be executed for it. This is obviously a critical part of the book of Esther, with the key verse being verse 14: "And who knows but that your have come to your royal position for such a time as this?"

However, today, let's consider the beginning part of the chapter. Mordecai has found out about the plot against the Jews and begins intense mourning. Esther's attendants came and told her about the situation and four words in verse four stand out:

The Queen was stunned.

Esther had no clue what was going on. She was shocked by this turn of events. If her attendants hadn't told her, she would possibly have continued merrily on, enjoying what must have been some pleasant and protected joys in the castle, while her people were in risk of horrible abuse or more outside the gate.

This gives me pause. I live a fairly protected life. I'm blessed with a husband and son who know how to do their best to keep me safe. I have worked in pleasant jobs within non-profits and ministries with great, God fearing people. I haven't had to deal with a lot of greed or ethical temptations in business through the years. I feel like, for the most part, I am, to the best of my knowledge, at peace with the people I interact with and don't have a lot of relational tension. I admit it. My life is pretty sheltered. And, I like it that way.

God obviously planted Esther into the palace "for such a time as this." I don't condemn her for enjoying the spa-like atmosphere and her position. She didn't move out of the palace (although I imagine she would have been willing to if God called her in such a way.) However, once she became aware of the concern, she did not ignore it and overlook it.

She started with her own family. She sent clothing to Mordecai.

She asked for the full story. This is vital. So often (guilty as charged) we jump to quick conclusions about what is going on with a situation, not having all the facts. Esther decided to obtain all the info before acting further.

She didn't immediately agree to what was asked of her. Granted, we tend to think she should have obeyed Mordecai right away, but I don't fault her for having to take time to adjust to the very risky proposal he was making.

She took time for prayer. Enough said.

She involved others. She fasted with her closest attendants. It is wise and healthy to have a few close friends you can bounce life around with and encourage and pray for one another.

She became resolved. She didn't drag out the "I'll pray about it" scenario. Within a few days, she knew she was to take the step of going to the king. And she did it with courageous resolution. "If I perish, I perish."

So, in relation to my life, how does this affect me?

I don't think it's wrong to live and enjoy the life God has given. I have had hard times, and will have more. I don't need to immediately change my situation just because I learn of a need. But, if God clearly brings a need across my path, I should be praying and thinking and dialoging to some degree about why He put me in that situation.

You can't meet all needs. But with prayerful discernment, you can begin to sense that yes, indeed, God may have put you in a particular situation "for such a time as this."

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Esther 3: Not Knowing Why

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If all you read from the book of Esther was chapter three, you would be discouraged and even fearful of what God is doing in the lives of His people.

Why in the world is He allowing this wicked Haman to achieve such power? Couldn't He have just stopped this before it started?

That's an answer we will never know on this side of heaven. Why does God even allow mean people to keep seeming to succeed? Why do some people experience such hardship? Why are people in power who could care less about honoring Him?

We don't know the answers. But we do know the good news....the story doesn't stop in chapter 3!

What situation in your life feels like it is going nowhere? Might God be writing a fuller story behind the scenes?

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Esther 2: Credit Where Credit is Due

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“But Mordecai found out about the plot and told Queen Esther, who in turn reported it to the king, giving credit to Mordecai.” Esther 2:22

A very short phrase. “Giving credit to Mordecai.”

A very big meaning.

Esther had become queen. She had some influence in the palace (though still not a very high place, simply elevated among the women) while Mordecai, her caregiver walked outside the gate. Mordecai overhears a plot against the king and relates it to Esther, who tells the king. The key is, she makes sure to credit Mordecai.

She didn't have to do that. She could've elevated herself in some way, telling the king, "I've become aware of a plot against you." The king would never have known the difference, and indeed, even with a second mention of Mordecai (recorded in front of the king) Xerxes doesn't recognize Mordecai for some time to come. And, Esther doesn't force him to.

This is an interesting balance of recognition here, and shows great wisdom on Esther's part. On the one hand, she was careful to give credit where credit was due. On the other, she didn't push her own agenda. (Chances are, she would have really liked Mordecai to be rewarded.)

I ask myself two questions from this:

Do I defer credit to others when I share their ideas or thoughts?

Those in vocational ministry joke that there is really not anything original that we write or speak...we often use ideas from other sources and revamp them for our particular audience. There isn't anything necessarily wrong with re-packaging an idea (I've heard that ideas aren't copyrighted, but presentation can be, i.e. how you present the idea.) However, it is still a gracious gesture to indicate where an idea may have come from, particularly if someone says, "That's a great idea! I wish I had thought of that." Letting someone believe it was completely original to us is deceptive. Esther did not do that.

Do I refrain from striving to fix something for a friend?

I remember years ago that I interfered in a situation on behalf of a good friend. I thought I was doing a nice thing, trying to fix a relationship with a third party, which she had confided in me wasn't at the level she was hoping it could be. When she found out what I did, she said, "I wish you hadn't done that." I'll never forget that. We are still close and that issue did not ruin our relationship at all. But it sensitized me to the risk of overstepping. Often, our friends need a listening ear, not necessarily a plan for fixing a problem. They need to know they can trust us. If you have an idea for fixing a problem, ask them if they want to hear your idea, or want you to intervene.

For a young woman in a foreign environment, Esther sure was wise and a great example to us. I think God helped her grow in wisdom every day, with the help of a loving, wise mentor like Mordecai.

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Esther 1: A Thing of Beauty

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The book of Esther begins with a vivid description of the setting that starts the exciting story. King Ahasuerus put his riches on display for a party that lasted 180 days. Thing of it as a museum display for six months wrapped up with a lavish seven day banquet (but one that got out of hand.)

I've been struck with the detailed description of how the banquet area was decorated and I wonder why, when this banquet was the start of something we would consider to be a negative event, would God have inspired the writer to go into such detail?

Perhaps God wanted to point out the materialism of the king and the extravagance that contributed toward self-indulgence. You could make a case for that.

But I prefer to think instead that God has an eye for beauty. I don't think the setting itself is condemned. I think instead the writer is pointing out the wonderful elements used to create a celebratory atmosphere. In other parts of Scripture, which include instructions for the tabernacle and our heavenly home, we see some displays of extravagance. Not too long ago, much of the world witnessed the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton, marveling at the celebration and some of the costs. The human heart seems to be drawn toward beauty and plenty.

Sometimes this can lead to our downfall. The king and his cohorts in this situation certainly were self-centered. Sometimes in our day, we are condemned for being more interested in an extravagent wedding while there is so much pain in the world (severe tornadoes had just devastated people days before.) There are times the Bible seems to advocate simplicity (Jesus had no set home to lay his head.) But I don't think that God condemns this all the time. I think that He allows, and even advocates, occasional "over-the-top" worship and enjoyment of plentiful supply. The key, I think, is not to aim to live there 24/7. We serve a majestic king who is also a humble shepherd. It is appropriate to worship in occasional splendor and in occasional simplicity.

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Introduction to Esther

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Esther is an interesting book--the story of a young girl who is put in a strange situation and is forced to depend on obeying her God even when she doesn't know what the outcome of her obedience will be. Ironically, her story never actually mentions the name of God. Yet, in the course of ten chapters, His influence is felt.

Do you ever feel like you are in a similar situation? Do you wish that God would give you clearer direction of what will be required of you and what He has planned? Recently one of my readers said that "skywriting would be great" when it comes to knowing where God wants her. I imagine Esther may have preferred to have an idea of what was coming when she approached the king. But God didn't allow her to see too far in advance. He doesn't seem to operate that way. Why might that be?

I think that we humans like to be in so much control because we fear what is coming in the future and if there is some way we can make it predictable, we will feel more comfortable. But God invites us to instead trust Him. That's hard to do sometimes, but His plan is better than what we would choose, even if it includes some very hard things. He has a "forever" view and we don't think in terms (often) of anything but this life. I think a lot of things will make sense once we enter into His presence in eternity, don't you?

I look forward to having you walk with us through this study whether you are reading the blog or participating in the e-group or both. Let's pray for God to open our hearts to what He wants us to learn.

(Note: this series is being re-run from an earlier date while CBBS is on extended sabbatical regarding new content.)

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Three of the Bible's "Working Women"

Whether a woman should work outside the home is a topic of some debate among Christians. I'm not interesting in starting an argument, but I would like to introduce you to three women who had impact in the world outside the home. Here are their stories:

The first is Lydia. Her story can be found in Acts 16 where she is mentioned in verses 13-15 and 40.

Lydia is described as a seller of purple and a worshipper of God. She played an instrumental role in encouraging Paul and the others traveling with him. According to Women of the Bible by Sue and Dr. Larry Richards, Lydia's business specialized in luxury. Purple dye was difficult to obtain. She also oversaw a fairly large household, and was unmarried. It appears that her pursuits kept her busy and productive both in and out of the home (to be a dealer in purple cloth, she must have interacted with people away from her own home from time to time.) She was described in verse 15 as "faithful to the Lord" by Paul. Had he felt she was misguided in being a businesswoman, he likely would not have showered such high praise.

The story of Deborah appears in the Old Testament, in Judges 4 and 5. She served as a prophetess and a judge, both important roles in the life of Israel Judges were often men, but in this case, God appointed a woman for the role. While being a leader, the Israelites engaged in a successful battle with the Canaanites. Deborah must have been very good at her job, because her army commander, Barak, said he would lead the army as long as Deborah went with him. God seems to have restricted her from leading the army herself, (it is wise for women to know and accept healthy boundaries and limitations) and Barak had already been promised victory in verses 6-7. But this shows the respect that he and the people had for Deborah. Obviously, this type of leadership could not take place only in a home setting.

The last woman I'd like you to meet is one you may not be as familiar with. In 2 Kings 22:13-14 and 2 Chronicles 34:22 we meet another prophetess, Huldah. What is interesting about her is that at King Josiah's request, representatives came to find Huldah so that she could help them know the will of God and return to Him at a time when the people had not been following Him. She is briefly mentioned as a wife as well. There is no indication that her husband had a problem with her public role as a prophetess.

Sometimes it's difficult for Christian woman to know whether they should or should not work outside the home. Taking in the "whole counsel of God'" I do not think a statement can be made to fully command one approach or the other. Instead, I see the following:

-God has equipped women with skills and gifts
-God desires women to be productive
-God does place importance on home management and family roles
-Women with young families should probably be especially aware of what affect their outside work will/can on the family, both positive or negative (be aware that sometimes, Dads staying home while a wife works can be a great fit for certain families!)
-God is honored by unity between husband and wife
-Women are wise to understand their limitations or boundaries
-Women should be encouraging one another to fulfill their roles in godly and productive ways, not projecting their individual choices on other women as absolutes
-A woman should consider why she wants to work outside the home and if lifestyle choices put too much pressure on the family finances.

I think a fitting conclusion to the matter, for both men and women, is summed up in Colossians 3:23-24: "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, and not for men since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."

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(Note: this is a past blog post because this blog is on sabbatical.)

The Y I've been going to most recently has a fish bowl on the main desk with many little strips of paper in it. I asked what it was for and they told me the papers were Bible verses for people to draw out to be a little bright spot on their day.

I've been going to the Y on Wednesday afternoons for a water exercise class, time in the steam room and sauna, and some quiet time in the reading room. This past Wednesday I drew out a verse and thought it would be interesting to do that occasionally and meditate on whatever verse the Lord brought my way.

The verse was Psalm 34:8, the LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be a contrite spirit.

This verse reminds us of the "with-ness" of God, a term my pastor "happened" to speak on just a few days before. Notice the emphasis of two particular times we feel the presence of the Lord keenly: when we are broken hearted and when we have a contrite spirit. While broken and contrite can be similar, I think there could be two meanings.

Sometimes, a broken heart comes from circumstances out of our control (to a degree.) There are events that happen that just break our heart...earthquakes, wars, tragic deaths, serious illness, financial and relationship disintegration, etc. A contrite heart seems to come from inside...a feeling of wanting to repent, a feeling of remorse for pain we have caused.

This verse shows us God's grace. The sin in this world keeps us from being able to live lives totally free of suffering. But God is still willing to be with us through it. We--EVERY one of us--contribute to the sin in the world. But He is willing to save and comfort our repentant hearts. Basically He is always near...and we will feel His presence even more when we have a humble, receptive spirit in pain that we are receiving, or that we have caused. That's the God who is WITH us. Emmanuel.

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Criticism: Part 3

(Note: this blog is on extended sabbatical regarding new content, but we are sharing some past posts for encouragement.)

We've investigated how criticism is like a mirror, to help us reflect on things that may need to be changed in our life. We've considered it to be a brick, that can hurt, but also be part of a bridge. Today, in the last of this three part series, let's think about criticism as a rope.

When I receive criticism, I sometimes feel all tied up inside. Like a rope, the criticism tends to tie up my emotions, my time and my energy. It's hard to focus on anything else but dealing with the issue. If I'm not careful, I also can rope other people into the situation because I tend to process things out loud. While I don't think it is wrong to bounce a situation off a spouse or close friend for guidance, I am beginning to think it is wise to keep it to a limited few. If I rope too may people into it, the talking can easily become gossip. I must be careful who I seek counsel from, so that the individual doesn't develop a bad opinion of someone else just because of what I have gone through. (It's often best not to name names when seeking counsel on how to deal with criticism from another.)

Ropes are used for good purposes most of the time. Often, they are used in rescuing people from danger. Could it be that when someone throws me a criticism, it could actually be a way to rescue me from going down a dangerous, prideful path? Criticism humbles you...it reminds you of your imperfections, and the need for grace. So, this rope of criticism can actually tether you to the Lord if you let it. It can help you tie up some "loose ends" in your life even it feels like a tug of war with another person.

I came across a verse from Proverbs 9:8-9 that is fitting for this wrap up on criticism.

...But correct the wise,
and they will love you.
Instruct the wise,
and they will be even wiser.
Teach the righteous,
and they will learn even more.

When I look back on my life, some of the outstanding lessons that were of benefit to me were when I took a criticism seriously, learned from it, and made some changes. All of the situations were painful at the time, but I wouldn't trade them now. Being teachable is a huge blessing...it only makes you better. So the next time a mirror is held up to your face, or a brick is thrown at you, or you are roped into a difficult situation, learn from it. Embrace it. Speak up when necessary, but in love and grace. You'll come out the better person.

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Criticism: Part 2

Note: this blog is on extended sabbatical for new content, but we are running some past posts for encouragement.

Last week I shared that criticism is like a mirror...it helps us reflect on areas of life that may need some attention.

Today, I suggest we think about criticism as a brick.

Ever feel like something "hit you like a ton of bricks?" That's what criticism, especially when unexpected, feels like. In the past few months, I've been part of a couple of situations where the individuals involved were bruised by criticism. In our current society of job non-security, more and more people are experiencing the pain of a form of criticism and rejection in their employment, sometimes out of the blue. They feel like a brick hit them in the head...or in the heart.

So what do you do with a brick that's been thrown at you? Throw it back? Throw it away? Neither is wise. While a brick used destructively can hurt or even kill a relationship, bricks are also used to build solid buildings and bridges, and walkways. Criticism, when, accepted with grace, can lead to a more solid relationship and a strengthening of character. This does not mean the brick was always justified, but it is a tool you can use to make something beautiful.

Sometimes, often, if you pick up the brick, think about it, absorb what could be valuable (see the post about mirrors last week) and gently bring it back to the individual, offering it as a sincere apology for your part in the misunderstanding, you begin to bring a deeper, stronger, more honest relationship.

So, what will the results of your next brick be? A bruise? Or a bridge?

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Criticism: Part 1

Note: CBBS is on an extended sabbatical regarding new content. We are running several past posts to continue to encourage.)

"You didn't do that job very well."

Ouch.

Does anyone out there like criticism? I know I don't. But I have been slowly coming to realize that criticism can be a gift. There are three things that criticism reminds me of, that I will share in my next three blog posts. Here is the first:

Criticism is like a mirror.

When we are given a critical comment, it's like having a mirror held up to us so we can see the spinach caught in our teeth. Whether we like it or not, there is often at least a grain of truth in criticism we receive, no matter how it is delivered. But the good news is, when we check the mirror, it usually doesn't mean that our entire face or outfit needs to be re-done (hope not, anyway!) but that it would be a good thing to give attention to that small, but sometimes glaring, distraction.

A mirror also reflects things. When we receive either praise or criticism, we can "bounce" or reflect it up to the Father. In 2 Corinthians 6:8-10 we see that Paul received both "slander and praise." In all things we can direct what we receive up to our Father. He's big enough to take it all! Since a mirror is reflective, it reminds us to be wise and reflect on criticism we receive, rather than respond to it right away. Some of the best advice on criticism is to WAIT to respond to it. Prayerfully consider what has been said, and ask God to help you distill what you need to learn and what you can let go of. Then you will be in a better position to respond in grace.

Criticism also reminds me of a rope and a brick...but those will have to wait for future blog posts. :) In the meantime, if you struggle with how to handle criticism, read through II Corinthians. Pastor Paul had to deal with quite a bit of it, often directly from his Christian brothers and sisters!

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Wow. I just looked back and saw I started this blog back in October, 2005. I can't quite believe it's into its seventh year now. Thanks to all my readers.

I've been giving some thought to my life recently and many of you know my word for 2013 is Margin. Recently the Lord impressed upon me my tendency to view much of life through the lens of sharing with others, which these days is easy to do through status updates, Tweets, and blog posts. While there isn't anything necessarily wrong with encouraging and inspiring others, it's easy for me to miss simply relating with God and doing life with Him for its own sake. It's easy to get detached and consider what I'm learning mostly through what I can produce out of it for others.

So I feel led to take an extended sabbatical from this blog, while also remaining an encouragement. So for the next several months, this blog will have regular posts, but they will be pulled from our archives or we may use a guest blogger here and there. I believe there are helpful things from our past posts that would be worth sharing again. At the same time, this will give me opportunity to step back from generating immediate new content for this site.

I will still be actively involved in the blog that accompanies our book Organizing From the Heart as well as on social media (visit BethBeutler.com to connect on any channel you wish.)

Thank you dear readers for your interest and support!

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Guest Blogger Lynn Blackburn!

Hi Readers! I discovered that fellow writer Lynn Blackburn had also chosen "Margin" as her word for the year, so I am glad to have her guest post today! You can visit her blog at http://lynnhugginsblackburn.blogspot.com/

Beth

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I have not been in a “bloggy” mood lately, which is weird for me. I love this blog. I love opening up my laptop and watching my scrambled thoughts morph into something that makes sense. At least to me.

Most of the time, I have three or four blog posts ready to go, but for the past couple of months, I’ve felt dry. Uninspired.

Empty.

Which is why I decided to take an unscheduled blog break.

For two weeks, I haven’t attempted to blog at all. I’ve journaled some during my quiet time (with a pen if you can imagine it!), and I’ve spent several hours on my fiction work-in-progress (the opening scene is my absolute favorite thing I’ve ever written, which probably means I’ll have to delete it, but for the moment, I’m quite pleased), but I’ve avoided anything that could look like a blog post.

I’ve been busy living my life instead.

I’ve planned and more or less succeeded in pulling off a double birthday party for my ten-year-old daughter and two-year old son.
I’ve taken my children for a long overdue trip to the Children’s Museum (we now have annual passes—that place is awesome)!
I’ve done a lot of normal things like laundry and meal planning.
I've played all sorts of random games with my kids.
I’ve enjoyed an oh-so-peaceful afternoon sitting in our “library” with my husband while snow fell in fancy flakes and piled up on the ground until we couldn’t stand it anymore and he retrieved all three kids from grandma’s house so we could build a snowman together.
I’ve started training for a 5K (that’s going to be interesting).
I’ve gotten a new haircut. I love it and have almost figured out how to fix it on my own.
I’ve been reading Leviticus, which everyone agrees can be a bit of a slog-fest, and have been stunned to discover how much great stuff is in there. Sure, there’s a fair amount of repetition with regards to long lobes of the liver and fat and entrails. And there’s no question that it’s a bloody book. Despite that, over and over again I find myself in awe, because unless we get just how onerous the Law was, how can we ever hope to appreciate the beauty and generosity of Grace?

After a few weeks of giving myself the margin to do a lot of ordinary things and a few things out of the ordinary, my heart is full and my thoughts are scrambled. I’m itching to start making sense of them again. I hope you’ll join me in the weeks ahead.

Grace and peace,

Lynn https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbsb9ZJDbRJBjQvSZtmIc8AExGoLW9DJmwohU9tnzUVNrof-seEwDXLfLMTx4xljnzXR96u9pF1hiE0FkgtND4HpDIbOpfUg5_RnQG6h8AM0JI-Ktde-jUlqXnUOcRGflFL74McQ/s1600/OneWord2013_Margin.j 3.bp.blogspot.com

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